21 Day Fix Week Two Report!

Well, I'm now on Day 15. I've done every workout scheduled the last two weeks, though I double up on Dirty 30 and Yoga Fix on Saturdays to allow for a complete rest day on Sundays.

I have lost 3 pounds total so far, and 1 inch around my waist, though I haven't fully measured. My thighs are still the same. To be completely honest, I was even up a lot in weight on Saturday night, and had a little meltdown. I knew in my head I had to stick with it, and that I shouldn't have gotten on the scale or tried to measure, etc. I knew I'd done a hard workout earlier that day and pushed myself, so I would see water retention as I always do when I do that. I knew because of the holiday and my cheat meal the day before, I'd also had more salt than usual.  I knew that I'd just eaten most of my day's calories just a couple of hours before, because I'd been out with my husband doing errands for several hours and refused anything at Taco Bell, so I was ready to gnaw off my arm by the time I got home. Yes, my head knew all these things, but my heart didn't. So I was kind of bummed, even though I plan on sticking with this--I'm just one of those for whom results don't happen very quickly.

Or so I thought.

I wore the same tank top to work out in today that I did when I took pictures. When I looked in the mirror I could have sworn it fit a lot differently than it did when I started. So I took a look at my other pictures, and WOW! There is a huge difference that isn't reflecting on the scale or on the measuring tape!

So, when I was getting dressed after my workout, I found a Hogwarts shirt I'd purchased pretty cheaply a month or so ago. I had only worn it to bed because it was way too tight to wear anywhere else . . .

TA-DA!

Sorry about the mirror spots. I need to clean it, as well as . . . everything around here. The shirt is still a little tighter than I'd like, but I can wear it! Hooray!

I started the third and final week of The Fix today. After Independence Day, I was really happy to get back to my routine. I hadn't noticed how much better I'd been feeling until after I had sugar on the 4th. My body reacted pretty badly to it. May be TMI, but it sent me running to the bathroom several times. When I get to my healthy body weight levels, I'm going to mostly stick with treats made from whole foods. I'll still have a piece of cake or pie now and then, but my body can't handle more than one slice. 

Other changes I've noticed--fruit is almost too sweet. I had a banana the other day and almost couldn't finish it because of the sweetness. That is huge for me. I've increased my weights, and I'm stronger. I'm starting to sleep a little better when I finally get to sleep. On the flip side, I'm in more pain because of my hip and back, and they affect my head, so I've had headaches. No chiropractor until we move. :(  So after this round of 21 Day Fix I'm going to take a few days to a week off and focus on yoga and working muscles out on my foam roller before I start anything else--though after a couple of days I may head into PiYo territory. I've been waiting months and months for that workout.

21 Day Fix: Day 12--Independence Day

Independence Day has always competed with Christmas for my favorite holiday. Usually we spend it with family, eating good food and having fun with fireworks. This holiday, we are reclaiming independence by using the long weekend to get over the hump with fixing our house so we can move.

Today I did my workout, Cardio Fix. Until now, I'd never done a full burpee because of my fear of injuring my slipped vertebrae further. Today, I felt my core was strong enough, so I did it. I left out the jumps at the end except for one time, but for two minutes broken into one minute segments, I DID BURPEES. (A burpee is where you put your hands down, hop back into a plank, hop in, and jump up.) And not only that, my four children sat on the couch, and watched me grunt and struggle at the end. "Come on, Mom!" they yelled. "You can do it!"

And when I finally finished, they cheered. They jumped up and down, clapped, and hollered, "YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!" I'm crying again now thinking about it.

My kids are the main reason I'm doing this. I want to be around for them. I had to take such care when I was pregnant with them, eat a specific diet, take my insulin. I did everything I had to to get them into this world safely, so I ask myself why it's taken this long to get it in gear. They need me just as much now that they're growing outside of my body.

I'm trying to get over the guilt, because for various reasons, I just couldn't manage this before. But I'm going to now. They deserve having a healthy mom. And I deserve being able to enjoy being a mom as much as I can.

This Independence Day for me is not only about celebrating our freedom from tyranny. I'm also celebrating my steps in taking back my independence.

Happy Independence Day. :)

Picture from Ice Flow Studios

21 Day Fix: Day 10 Almost Halfway Through

I want to give up today. Oh, how I want to. I wish I'd started this blog and tracked from Day One so you could see the highs and lows. When you are feeling achy, are nursing a strained muscle, are tired and up a half pound likely due to PMS (yeah, we shouldn't weigh often, but when you're excited sometimes you can't help it), and you can't choose to not go to your usual (chocolate chips, cereal, whatever constitutes comfort food, aka stress-relief) you have to feel those emotions, accept them, and process them. Find ways other than food to work through them. Hard to do when you're used to stuffing your emotions down.

Mentally, I know that this is going to help me. But that teeny part inside of me says, "Oh, really? What makes this time different?" Maybe you'd think someone who already lost and kept off over 50 pounds has a secret formula that makes them keep going. Well, if you know someone like that, introduce me to them. Because changing yourself is not easy. And when you add emotional eating to all the emotions that come up when you are changing yourself, it gets hard. Very hard.

I'm not complaining. I'm hoping that someone who is struggling sees this. Because it's in these moments, the moments where that inner part of you, the sad, defeated, irrational inner part of you screams for doughnuts, for chocolate, for something to make it feel better. It says you've suffered enough, now do whatever you need to to make the pain go away. It says to grab that box of cookies and hide under the covers all day with a book. It's these pivotal moments where I have a choice--give in to feel better momentarily, or choose the hard road because cookie-soothed feelings don't last. (I also have no cookies in the house for a reason!)

Hard days are magical. It's moments and days and weeks like these where my dreams can be solidified and forged into something real in the fires of discouragement--if I choose it.

I choose it today. I choose it right now.

Just because I feel like I want to quit, just because my inner self is trying to get me to quit--

It doesn't mean I have to quit.

And I won't.

I'm not saying I'll never have a doughnut again. I'm not ever saying I won't have three in a row, or half a box. I don't need to put that kind of pressure on myself, which would be counterproductive. What I am saying is that right now, today, I won't.

Not to say that I will never emotionally eat again, because that's not realistic. But consciously making better choices over time will make those times few and far between. So, I will deal with all these emotions with a workout instead of a chocolate cake today. The battle is won one day at a time. Sometimes an hour at a time. This blog is going to be a reminder of what I did why I did, and how I got there. It's not going to be all roses up in here, because I want this to be a reflection of what the journey is really like. I will have good moments, bad ones, and ones in between. The road to success is paved with hills and valleys, and it also looks a lot like this:

You know what? I'm almost halfway through my first three week round. I'm not even a teensy bit as sore as I was the first week. If I measured myself correctly, I lost about an inch off my waist already, and I'm going to celebrate that accomplishment with another workout and a bottle of water.

As my dad always said, "And that's the name of that tune."

Here's what I was working on this morning. It's a maple pumpkin steel-cut oatmeal recipe. It's almost there; just a few more tweaks. I'll share it once I get it finished. (No, that is not soy sauce. I did that once, unfortunately. Absent-minded, much?)

Happy Wednesday. :)