Let me tell you something: when you are 100 pounds overweight, yes, you feel fat. Or in other words, encased in fat, drowning in fat, like you are this person trapped inside your own body. Disgusted by what you have become. You may even love the center of who you are, and wish you could see her. But all you feel all around you is lumpy, heavy, rolls of fat.
I'd gained a lot during and after having my first child. Then not 18 months later, was blessed with a second. After that pregnancy, I did various things to lose weight. I went from around 225 pounds down to 216 with exercising with videos from The Firm. I even joined a gym several times over the years. Had another baby. Joined a gym again. Worked out. Got pregnant again and had another baby. Was on partial bedrest, diabetic, gained a lot.
A couple months after my last baby was born in 2009, I was tired. Exhausted because he hardly slept. I reached my all-time high of 252 pounds. (Or was it 247? See, it's hard to remember. I just remember freaking out at seeing 253 when I was pregnant, and was so sleep-deprived I can hardly remember anything.) I knew I had to do something.
So this doesn't turn into a book, let's just say that I started exercising again in October/November 2009. By the time April rolled around, I was in the 220's somewhere. I remember seeing 226. I ate more healthfully, and lots of raw foods. I was also still on insulin for diabetes.
I exercised, but didn't work a whole lot on my diet. Then I got serious toward the end of 2011 and reached my year-end goal of getting under 200 pounds (one-der land) before Christmas. In March 2012 I became a Zumba instructor and loved the crud out of it. I also found out that besides being very diabetic, I had a slipped vertebrae in my low back, but my body basically had a miracle happen, and a bone hook grew up around the vertebrae to support it from slipping all the way off. Basically, I have a natural pin in my spine that allows me more movement. However, I also have arthritis between the vertebrae because of disc degeneration, and my hips and muscles tend to pull and get out of alignment because of it. I can't do much jumping or lifting things like boxes or sitting on hard surfaces.
While teaching Zumba I got into pretty good shape muscularly, and During 2012, I didn't watch my diet as well, and got on some medication that made me retain every single thing I ate. I ended up gaining to 209, but in early 2013 I started eating healthier again and got down to 184. ( I did see 182 for one day, which was glorious.) In February I took practical and written exams and became certified to be a group fitness instructor by the Aerobics and Fitness Association of America.
Then in April of 2013, my husband lost his job. He was unemployed for five months, during which I ate a lot of chocolate for comfort, and we used mostly food we had in the house in storage, which meant I wasn't eating the way I needed to anymore. I quit teaching group fitness, and my days were filled with activities like painting walls and going through stuff, preparing to move. After my husband found a job working from home in the fall, and after family illness and emergencies around the holidays in to the new year, I started working out again until April of this year, but not watching my diet as I should have.
Then in April of 2013, my husband lost his job. He was unemployed for five months, during which I ate a lot of chocolate for comfort, and we used mostly food we had in the house in storage, which meant I wasn't eating the way I needed to anymore. I quit teaching group fitness, and my days were filled with activities like painting walls and going through stuff, preparing to move. After my husband found a job working from home in the fall, and after family illness and emergencies around the holidays in to the new year, I started working out again until April of this year, but not watching my diet as I should have.
We went on vacation to Utah in April and were gone ten days, and I fell off the exercise wagon again. With no health insurance, I couldn't get medication for diabetes, and I was feeling so terrible. The healthiest of diets didn't do a lot for my blood sugar levels even when I did eat healthily. I finally weighed myself and found I was 196 pounds. Not as bad as I had feared, but I'd lost a lot of my muscle strength and my cardiovascular fitness was awful. Because I gain weight around my middle, every pound has been contributing to the load on my pancreas.
So, in June I saw a friend on Facebook who was doing Beachbody's 21 Day Fix. I was glad to hear the name was inspired by the adage that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. I have never done any sort of weight-loss program before, but I had been feeling awful about myself, and was tired of being sick. What I liked about this program is that it focuses on clean eating and on healthy food. It's also adaptable to your own nutrition style. The program seemed perfect for me. It gives a range of colored containers for different food types, and a calculation for figuring out your range. The system focuses on healthy eating without having to count calories, which is made even easier with a 99 cent non-Beachbody app. 21 Day Fix also came with 30 minute workouts, which was nice. So that system started me on the journey to lose these last 50 pounds. (I am not a Beachbody coach, and while they're awesome, I do not plan to be one at this time.)
I also love barre workouts, ball workouts, and yoga, since they strengthen while they lengthen, which helps my pain levels, and I plan to incorporate those while adhering to the portion control of the 21 Day Fix program, with a focus on vegetarian healthy eating.
I know it is possible to change my life, and I'm determined to do it. I've already met my weight loss goal halfway. It may be harder for me because of my back issues, but that will only make the victory that much sweeter. :)
